Something Weird About My Apartment

One of the first things people notice in my apartment is the ridiculous wall mounted phone that looks like something out of the hatch on Lost. It's really big and it sticks out from the wall a lot further than necessary. I'm immune to it now but when people come over for the first time I'm reminded of just how strange the stupid thing is. It works, kind of. When someone buzzes I push a button and it opens the door but we can't talk on the phone and the weird monitor never shows anything. I'm sure when they installed them (in 1981) the technology was quite impressive but now it just looks silly and dated. Perhaps we'll say that about iPhones someday. For now, I use it exclusively to let the delivery guy in and take dumb selfies. Come to think of it, I guess it's not so pointless after all.