The Dating Files: The Slow Fade Out

{image via Life Magazine archive}

There's something I've noticed in my on-going dating adventures. It usually happens around the third date and I call it the slow fade out. It's happened enough times for me to have named it and it's exactly what it sounds like. Him or me or both of us just sort of lose interest and stop communicating. Sometimes it's a slow taper and sometimes it's a little more sudden but it always ends in a way that feels a tad bit abrupt and oddly unfinished. Now these "things" haven't been going on long enough to garner any sort of conversation from either party but it is a strange, re-occurring thing. And I think it happens around the third date because that actually marks a turning point. By the third date you're starting to have a real idea about who this person is. And it feels like a step, like "okay let's do this "dating" thing. Or not."

So I've been landing on the "or not" side of things lately and the slow fade out has become a pretty standard part of this whole process. And I haven't lost any sleep (or tears) over these s.f.o's but to go from what seemed like warmish to ice cold so quickly makes you wonder, are men just crazy? Fickle? Do they really adhere to the out of sight out of mind rule? Or is it the age old answer of "he's just not that into you?" Of course, I haven't been all that into any of them, either. If I'm not leading the slow fade out, I quickly become a willing participant. Because the men who've seemed promising on the first date always seem less so by the third. And isn't it supposed to be the other way around? Shouldn't getting to know them make me more excited and more into them?

I'm really hoping when that happens I'll know it. Something will feel different. And neither of us will pull the old slow fade out move. Because hopefully, we'll want to hang out with each other for awhile. Yes that sounds simple enough. But I'm learning that finding somebody I'd like to hang out with for awhile is harder than it sounds. And don't even get me started on finding someone to hang out with for forever. Egad.

{Image by Jenny of Hank & Hunt on design editor. Found via Cyd from The Sweetest Occasion's on pinterest}

So that's what I've got for you today. I continue to look and see what's out there and hope and of course laugh and have fun and smile. That's probably the most important thing, right? And with that, I'll wish you a Happy Holiday Weekend. I hope it's full of fun and festivity and that super awesome feeling that marks the unofficial start of summer. Hoo. Ray.