A Word on Weight Lost

In the past year or two I have lost about 50 pounds. That's right, I've lost the equivalent of a small child off of my body. I've cut my dress size in half and lost plenty of inches all over. People often ask me how I did it. And it should come as no surprise that it wasn't easy. And there isn't a simple, magic answer. I started shedding weight due to what I like to call "the break up diet." I was heartbroken so I wasn't eating and while this isn't a great method it did work. Plus I was single again and having to get back out there is always intimidating so once I started losing I decided to keep going. I started running on the West Side Highway. And I realized I didn't hate exercise. I liked how working out made me feel so I signed up for bootcamp which met twice a week at 6 AM (gasp!) and is still to date the best work out money can buy. Once it was too cold to workout outside I joined a gym and got a personal trainer. She weighed and measured me every week which kept me honest. Somehow without meaning to I became one of those people who works out, like regularly. I'm not sure when it happened but exercise became an important part of my life. Nowadays I try to work out 4-5 times a week. Some weeks I even get six workouts in but it usually balances out with the bad weeks when I can only manage three. The thing I've learned is you have to find a way to try and like it, you have to search for something you enjoy. If you don't like it, you won't do it. Of course there are still days when the last thing I want to do is go run around and get sweaty, sometimes my bed just feels sooooo good. And on those days, if I manage to get up and go it's the guilt avoidance that gets me there. And the fact that you never ever regret going. And of course all the exercise in the world won't do a thing if you're eating like crap and that's the other side of this coin. I feel like I finally got my eating habits mostly under control. I had done Weight Watchers in the past and it does work but it's not something I want to live by. I don't want to have to think about what I eat all the time, it makes me obsess about food too much. Plus, I'm always going to go out to eat and I don't want to have to think about it and worry about points and all that nonsense. I eat healthy, mostly vegetarian meals. I avoid packaged foods for the most part and I love to cook. But I also love to go out to eat. If I'm craving a cheeseburger I'm going to have one, I'm just going to make sure it's a really, really awesome one. I've stopped mindlessly eating crap. And just like exercise, my relationship with food has to be something I can live with. I don't believe in diets because ultimately a diet will end and then where will you be? So make small changes, ones you can live with and then once those are a regular part of your life make some more.

I've always struggled with my weight. And I think I always will. I'm not done yet. Even though the way I look has changed, it's not always easy to accept those changes on the inside. I've always been overweight and in some ways I think I'll always feel like the same overweight girl I was for so long. I continue to grapple with body issues maybe even more now than I used to. I have to be happy with where I am and I have to continue to keep working on it everyday. So, that's where I am right now my friends, happy but with plenty more work to do.

p.s. this post is way too long. my apologies.