Meet Freddie

Freddie at one day old.

Freddie at one day old.

On August 1st, we joyfully (and fearfully) welcomed a baby boy into the Fergland crew. Frederick Ferguson Land a.k.a. Freddie was born at 5:03 pm.  He weighed 7 pounds 11 ounces and was 20 inches long. Labor was... laborious but I'll tell you that story another time.

Life is full of big moments and now that I'm barely on the other side of this motherhood thing I can safely say there's nothing bigger than this. Nothing even comes close. New jobs, moving, even weddings. Nope, this is the biggie. This is the line in the sand. This is thing that changes everything. The first days were a blur of exhaustion  and elation and shock and awe and tears. So many tears. Between the hormones and the sleep deprivation and the fear that you're fucking the whole thing up there's a lot of crying. At least there was for me. It all seems so unbelievable at first. I waited so long for this new human to arrive but the reality of him was a bit of a mindfuck. But the good kind. And then those beginning days turned to weeks and somewhere between being  so tired I thought I would die and crying constantly because breastfeeding was a nightmare my mind somehow started to unfuck itself. 

He's sleeping a tiny bit more so I feel more like a human. He's also bigger and sturdier and less of a fragile little thing whose head might fall off at any moment. He's starting to smile and laugh and that's been a really awesome thing. There are even moments when I think "hey, maybe we can do this" and "we  might actually survive parenthood." I finally feel like I'm starting to sort of get a handle on things (meaning I don't feel like a walking dead person ALL of the time). And it's all  happening right in time for me to go back to work and for our world to completely turn upside down all over again.

But I have a feeling that's kind of what parenting is all about. Just when you kind of sort of get a handle on things life goes and explodes that tiny bit of togetherness you thought you had and you find yourself at the bottom of a huge pile of holy-shit-what-are-we-doing and you have to figure it out all over again. So that's what we'll do. See what this amazing and wonderful kid has in store for us. I don't have a clue what it will be but I'm excited to find out.

Freddie at around two months old.

Freddie at around two months old.

Treasure Hunt: A Backpack

It's been a long time since I bought a backpack. Actually, that's a lie. I bought one of these a couple summers ago to wear while riding my bike. And I love it. But ever since I started my job I've been lugging my laptop everywhere. And this isn't a cute little MacBook Air, either. No sir. I ended up with a hefty 15" MacBook Pro. Simply put, the thing weighs a metric shit ton. And back in September I bought this humongous shoulder bag to haul all my assorted crap around (including the aforementioned beast of a laptop). After awhile it's just got too heavy and I got too pregnant and well, something had to give. So I searched for and purchased a backpack. The only question is; why did I wait so long?! I feel like a million bucks when I wear the thing. What a fool I was lugging around that shoulder bag. These days, my back is so much happier. Well, as happy as a back can be when it belongs to the body of a lady who is 34 weeks pregnant. So okay maybe my back's not that happy but it's definitely much happier.

Left to right, from the top: leather / navy / polka dot / quartz grey / NY state / multi-color / blue and pink / taupe / floral / THE WINNER

First comes love, then comes marriage...

It’s true. I’m pregnant! And surprise, I’m actually pretty darn pregnant. Almost 26 weeks to be exact. Which I’ve always found to be an annoying way to count time but it’s how things are done in this baby-making game and who am I to argue. If you keep track of time like a normal person, I’m about 6 months pregnant. And wow, that was terrifying to even type. That's really very pregnant, isn’t it?

I’m sure you’re all wondering how I’ve been feeling (that seems to be the question I get most). So I'll tell you. I’ve been feeling much better recently. In the beginning I was so tired and coupled with the fact that I wanted to puke all of the time, it was not a pleasant situation. I guess some people react to wanting to puke all the time by not eating. This is not my preferred method of coping. In fact, I was dealing with my queasiness in the exact opposite way. Pretty much eating everything in sight. And pizza, lots and lots of pizza. But things have normalized. I’m still tired all the time (however, to be fair that’s also because I work too much) but the pukiness has gone way down. And I'm not eating all the things. Just some of them.

I’m excited, terrified, stressed, thrilled, anxious, emotional, overjoyed and about a million other emotions that change daily. The good news is I get to go through all of this madness with a guy I really like. And at the end of the day, I’m just really happy. And lucky.

Baby boy Fergland should arrive around July 31st and I cannot wait to meet the little guy. I guess it’s my destiny to be surrounded by stinky (but adorable) boys. But if you think about it that seems right, doesn’t it?


That time we go married...

I can't believe it's been almost nine months since the wedding. It feels like it was a million years ago and yesterday all at once. One thing is for sure, it was the most fun weekend of my life and I would really like to do it all over again. Since that's not exactly possibly at the moment, here's a lovely feature on 100 Layer Cake which happens to be my favorite of the wedding blogs. 

This and every other gorgeous image taken by the insanely talented, Isabelle Selby.