On August 1st, we joyfully (and fearfully) welcomed a baby boy into the Fergland crew. Frederick Ferguson Land a.k.a. Freddie was born at 5:03 pm. He weighed 7 pounds 11 ounces and was 20 inches long. Labor was... laborious but I'll tell you that story another time.
Life is full of big moments and now that I'm barely on the other side of this motherhood thing I can safely say there's nothing bigger than this. Nothing even comes close. New jobs, moving, even weddings. Nope, this is the biggie. This is the line in the sand. This is thing that changes everything. The first days were a blur of exhaustion and elation and shock and awe and tears. So many tears. Between the hormones and the sleep deprivation and the fear that you're fucking the whole thing up there's a lot of crying. At least there was for me. It all seems so unbelievable at first. I waited so long for this new human to arrive but the reality of him was a bit of a mindfuck. But the good kind. And then those beginning days turned to weeks and somewhere between being so tired I thought I would die and crying constantly because breastfeeding was a nightmare my mind somehow started to unfuck itself.
He's sleeping a tiny bit more so I feel more like a human. He's also bigger and sturdier and less of a fragile little thing whose head might fall off at any moment. He's starting to smile and laugh and that's been a really awesome thing. There are even moments when I think "hey, maybe we can do this" and "we might actually survive parenthood." I finally feel like I'm starting to sort of get a handle on things (meaning I don't feel like a walking dead person ALL of the time). And it's all happening right in time for me to go back to work and for our world to completely turn upside down all over again.
But I have a feeling that's kind of what parenting is all about. Just when you kind of sort of get a handle on things life goes and explodes that tiny bit of togetherness you thought you had and you find yourself at the bottom of a huge pile of holy-shit-what-are-we-doing and you have to figure it out all over again. So that's what we'll do. See what this amazing and wonderful kid has in store for us. I don't have a clue what it will be but I'm excited to find out.